Six years ago today I sat next to my mother's hospital bed and held her hand, listening for her final breath. I watched the spiky glowing line of her heart monitor flatten into a solid neon smoothness. After she was gone, I loosened the neck of her hospital gown and gently stroked her still-warm belly, criss-crossed by the stretch marks I had made from within her.
When I was twelve years old, she wrote this letter to me, just before heading into the surgery that would define the rest of her life. She was not sure she would survive the operating table, and wanted to make certain that I knew just how much she loved me. I keep this note in my underwear drawer. I take it out and read it on days when I need her.
her note
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13 comments:
**heart breaking**
Hugs to you today.
Oh Laura,
I wish I could wrap you in the warmth that only your Mama could have provided. That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I praise God for the blessings you received in that precious relationship. Praying for you today.
Love,
Heather J.
I'm with you... 7 years ago Monday I sat by my husband's hospital bed, hoping and praying that he would live.
How precious to us are small things that mean more than we can imagine. I'm sad with you for the ache that never quite goes away, but rejoice with you knowing that your mom truly loved you and that that love lasts forever. Praying for you today.
I will never see my stretch marks the same again. Your words have tugged and pulled compassionate tears right out of me. I'm so glad you shared this.
Laura,
No words to express the places this touches me.
And I don't know if mine , a cyber stranger will touch you, but this is love isn't it. I hope that you are still feeling it.
This make me want to grab hold of my kids and never let go. I'm with Emily. I'll never look at my stretch marks the same way again. Thank you for sharing such an intimate story.
This is simply beautiful - thank you for sharing. (wiping tears off my laptop....)
Simply beautiful! How wonderful to have her words!
Oh the ache of losing a mother. Each new milestone is a new missed memory never shared. I hear you my friend. How beautiful that she anticipated your loss and left deliberate reminders for you. Great parenting to the end. Priceless.
Perhaps on the days you miss and need her the most are the days when she is closest to you, looking our for you.
Makes me want to go call my mom. Thanks for reminding me of what's important. God bless you this week.
It's awesome that the words she used to describe you at age 12 are still just as true today: lovely, bright, sensitive, leaving a trail of goodness & mercy, and that your treasure lies in your heart. She KNEW you. And it's an incredible blessing to me that I do, too.
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